Ah, Regret.

On Motherhood (lezzie-style)
Mon, 8 September 2008, 4:07 pm
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Ellen and Portia talk babies

Apparently Ellen and Portia have talked about having kids.  Must be that “maternal instinct” thingy I keep hearing about.  (Who knows, maybe one day preggo lesbos will be cooler than preggo tweens!  But um… although the allure of being cool has influenced me to do many things, I remain unconvinced that it would get me to hop on the baby bandwagon.)  So what baby names have they thrown around?

“We’ve thought of names, ironically … Jumbo Shrimp is good,” the talk show host tells Extra

That would actually be par for the course for celeb baby names…

Recently DeGeneres spent time with pals Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale’s growing family – including their newborn son Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale – which inspired some parental-ish feelings for the comedian. “I was holding Zuma this weekend. And all I kept doing was [singing] ‘All I want to do is a Zuma Zuma zoom and shake your rump.”

DeGeneres’s alternate plan to having kids is to adopt – but not just anyone. “I would adopt the Jonas Brothers,” she quipped. “They really are good kids. They appreciate everything still.” 

Ellen, adopt me!  I’m a good kid!!!! Right Big Al?


Bizarre-est. Week. Ever.
Fri, 5 September 2008, 11:21 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

(+) We can now talk about “Lindsay Lohan” and “political commentary” in the same sentence.

(-) Tween pregnancy and marriage (and living happily ever after!!!!) have somehow replaced gay marriage as “all the rage”.  (How am I supposed to jump on THAT bandwagon?!)

On Motherhood
Fri, 5 September 2008, 10:29 am
Filed under: Gchatterbox, Required Reading | Tags: , ,
Heather: I just watched Bridge to Terabithia, which features a small boy in (emotional) peril, and i SOBBED
me: i’m sure you did!
Heather: i’m getting worse in my old age
i think i’m ready to bear small boys of my own
me: ew
Heather: maternal instinct is not GROSS
me: oh.
Jamie Lynn: omg she is 23 years old and doesnt even have a 8 babys yet!! that sux
Bristol: i know rite!!! n dont even get me started on teh gay one lol
Jamie Lynn: lol ew
Bristol: btw thx 4 the cute burp cloths!!
Jamie Lynn: yw!!! im glad we r bffs now
Bristol: ya me 2!!!! we can do mom stuff 2gether lol
Jamie Lynn: omg i no!! liek for our 21st bdays we could go 2 chuckie cheese with our 4 yearold kids n stuf!!!
Bristol: omg ya i cant wait

Sara Palin, so hot right now
Wed, 3 September 2008, 4:20 pm
Filed under: Open ecards, Required Reading | Tags: , ,

The Sarah Palin saga… ohhh dear.  I never thought I would say this, but the presidential race is starting to amuse me more than the ongoing antics of (real or supposed) lesbian celebrities.  (FYI, I am not the only person around here who is unable to resist making Palin-related blog posts.)

Anyway, you guys know the story by now, but I’d still like to recap some fun facts.  (Let me take this opportunity to remind you that although at times these may sound like jokes, perhaps a result of my occasionally hyperbolic writing style, they are all actually 100% true.)

Sarah Palin Fun-Yet-Also-True (!) Facts

  • She loves to hunt, fish, and snowmobile.  
  • Her favorite meal is moose stew.
  • Her high school lesbian basketball skills earned her the nickname “Sarah Barracuda”.
  • She was first runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska beauty pageant.
  • She has a degree in journalism from the U. of Idaho.
  • She has five children.  Their unfortunate names (as reported by Maureen Dowd) are “Track (named after high school track meets), Bristol (after Bristol Bay where they did commercial fishing), Willow (after a community in Alaska), Piper (just a cool name) and Trig (Norse for ‘strength’).”
  • She is pro-life.  
  • Incidentally, 17 year-old Bristol was recently impregnated by a redneck high school ice hockey player (god I love myspace blogs).  Not only will she have the baby, but she will also marry the redneck boy.  This situation has been alternately termed “Broken-watergate” (Dowd), “Teen Prego Crisis” (National Enquirer), and “a very strong and highly publicized argument in favor of abortion” (yours truly).
  • She has a hilarious blog.  (OK OK, this particular fact is untrue, I just couldn’t help myself.)
Wow, good stuff, Palin.  We should hang out sometime.  By the way, here is an ecard for your future son-in-law, could you send it along for me?