Ah, Regret.


Here comes the Bad Humor truck
Tue, 16 June 2009, 11:55 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , , ,

lump_parachute

Let me just start out by saying that all credit for today’s post goes to Virb.  (She thinks of the topic so I don’t have to.  The rest of you readers, take note.)  My parents certainly owe Virb a debt of gratitude, because ever since I blogged about the colors of my (amazing technicolor) parachute, she has dedicated herself to the thankless task of discovering the perfect career choice for yours lumpily.  (I would try to think of ideas myself, but I just really don’t have the time.  I’ve been busy with… stuff.  cough.  smushmrinking.*)

As you may recall from the aforementioned post, for me the real question isn’t, “What color is your parachute?” (duh–rainbow.); it’s “What careers can someone with a gay parachute like yours successfully pursue (read: tolerate)?”  You may also recall that I did come up with a few promising leads, but, frustratingly, each of these–like all of the other career ideas ever postulated by me or anyone else–is ultimately going to end up getting thrown out for one reason or another (i.e. would require me to obtain a graduate degree, and/or work with people, and/or get up early, and/or put forth a great deal of effort…).

So you can see how, when it comes to figuring out a way to attain financial stability in a manner deemed socially acceptable for a college graduate with a middle-class socioeconomic background (*YAWN*–my memoirs should be riveting), Virb could very well be my only hope.  No pressure or anything!

My blog is becoming the job section of surlylump.craigslist.org.



Everything you always wanted to know about C. Wang* (*But were afraid to ask)
Tue, 9 September 2008, 12:03 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , , , , ,

(+)

  • She lives in Charm City aka B-more, Lesboland
  • She is gay married, which is all the rage.
  • She is a beer snob.
  • She loves crabs.  And other seafood.  Fish tacos, I’m sure.
  • When dissatisfied with ground-level views, she perches in a tree.
  • She was my housemate (until I had to suddenly uhaul away).
  • She has a keen ear for my easy-to-miss muttered side-comments.
  • She believes in unicorns.
  • (My personal favorite:) She wrote about kburg’s “fiery eyes” in a now-legendary RSD post.

(-)

  • She has a blog but posts with Virb-like (in)frequency.


All Power to the Virbs! Bread, Land, and Rainbows!
Mon, 25 August 2008, 10:36 am
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: ,

Perhaps some of you have been wondering, “Gee Val, why/how do you write sooooo many blog posts?” Well, it seems that Virb has figured it out. Apparently I post so much because I am one of these:

(Can you guess which one?)

Hm, a tube. I hadn’t really thought of myself that way.

In any case, keeping up that spirit of friendly analysis, I would like to inform you that the Virbs (aka Virb & Mini-V) are:

The USSR of Lesbian Couples

Why are they the constitutionally socialist state of lesbo partnerships? Well first of all, “Virbitsky”–I mean that just sounds like the name of a Communist leader. But more important, these two comrades are tricky and have a lot of secrets. I’m sorry but I can’t divulge any more information, or they’ll have me shot (I’ve already said too much!).