Ah, Regret.


Vallie & Vallia

vallie_vallia

Where to begin?  Well, to paraphrase Eric B & Rakim (seems like a good starting point!), It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you / without a new blog to step to.

What?  Sometimes it’s just easier to say things in a song, OK?!  Anyway.  First of all, I have what I believe to be an excellent excuse for not having written in so long: I moved!  (That is, we–as in Erin [is easily outraged] and I–moved.)  That’s right, we said goodbye to Sunny Boulder and hello to Rain City–Seattle, here we are!  (Cue the sound of a thousand unicorns stampeding northwestward.)

Based on the Sad But True Story.

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I didn’t text you last night. TEQUILA texted you from my phone…

Oh my goodness, it’s been WAY too long.  My blogging fingers are getting fat!  (Alex: insert “finger” joke here.)  Time to give them a workout.  (More finger jokes!)

Speaking of fingers, sometimes our fingers do certain things when we’re drunk that we later regret.  Yeah, I don’t know what you were thinking, but I was referring to Texts From Last Night.  (Thanks Colin and all of you people who have the link on your MyFacePage/GTwitterChat/Thingamablogs.)  If you (somehow!) haven’t seen this site yet, you really need to take a look.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

txt_ecard

The concept is brilliant: a forum in which one can immortalize one’s regrettable (presumably–hopefully?–drunk) text messages from the previous night.  Perfect!  Don’t prevent regret; let it happen, and then celebrate it!  Why does regret continue to have this stigma of being “shameful”?  Regret can be funny!  (You can post it on the internet to entertain all of your friends!)

For example:

Dear Tequila, No Regrets



Answer: Because everyone else is doing it. Duh.
Thu, 19 March 2009, 1:59 pm
Filed under: Other Whimsy | Tags: , ,

(Did you really need to ask?)

http://twitter.com/vallyo

Also added a lil widget on the left sidebar for ya.  Now you’re in the loop.

I don’t care what you think about Twitter.  If it’s good enough for Rachel Maddow, Kathy Griffin, and MC Hammer, it’s good enough for me.

tweety_lump



Celebloggers: They’re Just Like Us!
Thu, 4 September 2008, 4:32 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , , ,

As you devoted Ah, Regret. readers know by now, some of my fave celebs happen to share my love of that great American pastime, blogging. As US Weekly would say, “They’re just like us!”  I mean they blog, we blog… clearly there are no differences between their lives and ours.  Imagine that.

Anyway, if you’re like me, you can’t help but be moved by the random thoughts and musings of these epic celebrity internet authors (hey, just because Lindsay didn’t go to real high school doesn’t mean she can’t write!).  

That’s why I’m unveling an all-new feature on this fine repository for celebrity-related crap, as well as other crap in general, that you like to read several times per day.  May I direct your attention to the left sidebar, about halfway down, underneath the Filing Cabinet and above Meet the Author.  That’s right: it’s the new Celebloggers section!

 

Now you can stay up-to-date on the bloggings of some VICs–Very Important Celebrities (read: too important to be in the VIP Lounge with the little people).  Currently I have three offerings for you guys, but if you know of any other good ones, feel free to give me a heads up.  And rest assured that I will continue to post highlights from these celeblogs just in case you don’t have quiiite as much time to devote to reading them as I perhaps do.

P.S. If you haven’t experienced the PalinDrome yet, please read it.  The entire thing.  And make sure to post a comment telling that moose-lovin’ MILF that she and Old Man McCain can count on your vote this November.



An open ecard to everyone in belated celebration of Labor Day
Tue, 2 September 2008, 1:54 pm
Filed under: Open ecards, Required Reading | Tags: ,

After an illustrious Labor Day weekend, I’m sitting here at work instead of lying in bed. This does not please me. But the good news, faithful reader, is that my dismal mood has inspired me to send you an ecard.

That’s right. While I’ve slaved away (for over one month!) to create internet hilarity through gossip, gayness, hyperbole, half-truths, pseudo-news, silly cats, and photographs altered with MS Paint, what have you accomplished lately?

You’ve biked across the country, enrolled in grad school, successfully moved to a new city, gotten promoted at work, made tons of new friends, lost weight, gotten married, raised money for a good cause, finished that novel you’ve been working on, etc etc etc.

Well… great effort and all, but I still win.



All Power to the Virbs! Bread, Land, and Rainbows!
Mon, 25 August 2008, 10:36 am
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: ,

Perhaps some of you have been wondering, “Gee Val, why/how do you write sooooo many blog posts?” Well, it seems that Virb has figured it out. Apparently I post so much because I am one of these:

(Can you guess which one?)

Hm, a tube. I hadn’t really thought of myself that way.

In any case, keeping up that spirit of friendly analysis, I would like to inform you that the Virbs (aka Virb & Mini-V) are:

The USSR of Lesbian Couples

Why are they the constitutionally socialist state of lesbo partnerships? Well first of all, “Virbitsky”–I mean that just sounds like the name of a Communist leader. But more important, these two comrades are tricky and have a lot of secrets. I’m sorry but I can’t divulge any more information, or they’ll have me shot (I’ve already said too much!).



Are You There Julia? It’s Me, Val
Fri, 22 August 2008, 2:15 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags:

Dear Julia,

To answer your question, I can assure you that yes, somehow I also manage to be hilarious in “real life”. But my main, all-consuming goal is to achieve Internet Glory through hilarity, namely in the following virtual arenas (in no particular order):

  • My blog posts
  • Comments on my own blog
  • Comments on other people’s blogs
  • Facebook walls
  • Facebook graffiti walls
  • Facebook chats
  • Facebook status messages
  • Gchats
  • Gchat status messages
  • Google Spreadsheets
  • Google Spreadsheet chats (yes this does exist, you should try it sometime)
  • Emails sent to individuals
  • Emails sent to ultimate frisbee team listservs
  • AOL Instant Messenger (back in the day, before gchat pwn’d us all)

Phew, did I forget anything?

Incidentally: wow, I’m only 23, and yet I’ve already accomplished so much in my life.

Regretfully yours,

The SL