Ah, Regret.


Finally, an epic lesbian saga we can all enjoy
Fri, 12 March 2010, 11:24 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , ,

Everything Lady Gaga does has to be crazier and gayer than anything she’s ever done before.  But after viewing the music video for “Telephone” (featuring Beyoncé), I have to wonder: where the heck can she go from here?!  I mean aside from just exploding into a bunch of rainbows and fish tacos and giant weird sunglasses?  (Hm, that sounds like a music video version of my blog.  I wonder if she’s looking for a producer…?)

Anyway, just check this thing out, it’s insane.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

All I have to say is, “The L Word” would have been WAY more awesome if Gaga had been part of the production crew (not to mention cast).

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Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves lesbos

Um OK so, this is interesting.  Remember Kanye West, America’s straightest man?  Well, my beloved AE is reporting that he is rumored to be dating… a lesbian!  Her name is Amber Rose, and as for her purported sexuality… well, let’s have a look, shall we?

kanye_amber

Uh yeah, even Erin’s gaydar is going off right now.  What is this, some sort of double-beard scheme?  I don’t know what to make of it.  I know that in “Stronger” he said “I’d do anything for a blonde dyke”, but keep in mind that this is coming from a rapper whose lyrics only occasionally make any sort of sense.

Maybe they really are in a relationship, and it was their love of rainbows that brought them together.  Or maybe when Amber said “I’m gay” Kanye thought she was just saying that she’s dope.  But listen Cambpell (and any other confused/hopeful parties), I’m sorry but the moral of this story is NOT that dykes like to give blowjobs.  (Jenny won’t even eat oysters for god’s sake.)



Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves old school Nuggets jerseys

One of the main purposes–the main purpose, I daresay–of this blog is to barf rainbows all over your computer screen.  So, in that spirit, I’d like to pay tribute to my fellow rainbow-worshipping blogger, Kanye West.

sweater

Apparently Mr. West is gay.  Not gay as in “gay”, but gay as in “dope”.  I mean seriously, don’t get it twisted–he does not like dudes.  In fact, he has had sexual intercourse with many women, he’ll have you know.  But despite his unwavering heterosexuality, Kanye loves “gay”.  And, not one to keep his feelings all bottled up inside, the rapper–who has described himself as “the voice of this generation”–barfed a rainbow all over the latest issue of Details magazine (thanks Alex).

Blehhh!



Her life would suck without men
Wed, 4 February 2009, 11:11 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Original American Idol and pop-star-with-hilariously-titled-songs Kelly Clarkson has recently faced a barrage of blog-tag allegations that she “could so like girls”.  And so, like Lindsay Lohan before her, she  has made a statement rejecting the l-word label:

notgay

“I get that all the time,” she tells AOL’s pop culture news site, PopEater.com.“People are like, ‘Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I’d really love it.’ Lesbians tell it to me all the time […] I’m like, ‘I’m glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that […] but I happen to like boys.’”

But Kelly, why can’t you just give girls a chance?

“[I] could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man.” 

Hmm, good point.  I don’t know of any “stable, quiet” lesbos.  Do you?

But anyway.  Are we buying this?  Somehow I just don’t find the “I like boys” line all that convincing.  (Apologies to those of you who have said it to me.  Keep trying.)  At any rate, I don’t see why she’s trying to fight it.  Being a lesbian is so hot right now!



Lily Allen is fucking hilarious
Thu, 29 January 2009, 3:46 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , ,

lily

This post is a tribute to British pop star Lily Allen.  For those of you whose mp3 collections are not heavily influenced by Popjustice, Lily is a 23 year-old pop music “singer-songwriter”.  I put that phrase in quotes because, to be honest, she’s probably a lot more famous for being the daughter of actor/comedian Keith Allen, and also for being perpetually drunk, than for her singing and songwriting skillz (which are in fact awesome, but I’ll get to that in a minute).

Lily and I are about the same age, but when I contemplate how much more this young woman has accomplished in her life, I can only look back on mine with a heavy sense of regret.  (*EDIT*  Having completed the list below, I now realize that with the exception of items 5-7, our lives have been strikingly similar.  Yesss!)  See for yourself:

Let me count the ways.



Someone who always knows what to say
Tue, 30 September 2008, 11:54 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , ,

I’m sure you know this already, but Paris Hilton–much like Lindsay Lohan–is such a good singer.

Her new single, “My BFF“, totally rules. Not nearly as much as “Nothing in This World”, but you know what, she’ll never top that one. Anyways, you know why I like this jam so much? Because it reminds me of that special someone:

Who are you texting three hundred times a day?

That’s right, a socialite singing about how hard it is to find a true BFF when you’re a socialite makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  That is so not right.  I have a problem.

Heather… reassure me!



What Does Your Music Collection Say About You?
Wed, 10 September 2008, 12:52 pm
Filed under: Gchatterbox, Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: ,

For you list-lovers:

Out’s 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums of All Time

Just between you and me, I <3 Melissa Etheridge (and also many gay man albums, apparently).

For you list-lovers who are also A.Chan-lovers:

Alex’s commentary on the list

Alexandra i fear im ostracizing my straight readers
me hahah i try not to worry about that.