Ah, Regret.


Why am I so unhealthily obsessed with Twitter, you ask?

metatwitter

Because it produces exchanges like this one.  Which blow my unhealthily-L.Ron-obsessed mind.

@TheEllenShow: On today’s show, Lindsay Lohan tells me the truth about her breakup with Samantha Ronson. http://bit.ly/yjnqG

@samantharonson: @TheEllenShow oooooh- oooooh- i wanna know!

@sevinnyne6126: @TheEllenShow tell me all the deets!

LOL!!!!!!!!

And to think that when Twitter first got popular I asked myself, “Why do I even need this thing?”  The horror!



I have a lot of feelings

Reading the news (not just celeb gossip, but real news! And celeb gossip.) this week, I was on rollercoaster of emotion.  How is that different from any other week in the life of a lesbian, you ask?  Er… I guess it isn’t.  However, I’m still going to highlight the ups and downs for you, so you’d better grab a box of tissues.

Bad-news-first style?  OK.  I write with a heavy heart that our beloved headline-grabbing, label-shunning, chain-smoking, DJ-ing, matching-tattoo-sporting, MySpace-blogging, after-after-Ellen couple, L.Ron, is a couple no more.

dunzz

To be honest, this makes me sad.  Regardless of what these two individuals are like as people, their relationship was actually pretty meaningful to today’s crop of baby dykes.  When they started to show up in the tabloid headlines, not as “lesbian lovers” but more as just as two (extremely famous) people in love, it was as if their story had almost transcended the usual tabloid trash.  Suddenly we weren’t just staring blankly at the glossies to kill time in the grocery line; we were witnessing some kind of cultural shift.  It struck a chord.  Maybe we even canned the cynical humor for just a second and started to reflect on some issues that are actually kind of important in our society.

It’s been a Week.



“You must introduce your cubicle mate to the spectrum…”
Fri, 3 April 2009, 2:09 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , ,

lron_gothic

From “THE SEXUALLY FLUID PERSON’S GUIDE TO A SEAMLESSLY UNEVENTFUL COMING OUT.”

By Amy York Rubin

[Read the whole thing.  Seriously.]

Given that you are sexually fluid and defy all constraints on your sexuality identity, you do not want to come out. This is because the nature of your fluidity is such that you are not in any defined space to come out of. Instead, you exist on a barely identifiable spectrum, caught between your messy world of deconstructed social constructs and the other world that exists outside your head: the world where you make your money, the very money you used to go to that private college that got you into this mess in the first place. So, since you’re so big on deconstructing, let’s get busy.

  • Potential for awkwardness when using the interent to divulge sexuality (I won’t name names!): check.

Don’t explain your sexual identity to [your hetero cubicle mate] via any form of instant electronic communication, even if you’ve turned off the notification that lets her know when you’re typing and deleting and rephrasing and retyping again. (And if you haven’t turned off that notification, believe me, you should.)

  • Seducing straight girls: check.

That tipsy girl who keeps touching your arm at your friend’s whiskey party looks like she knows something is up. Unfortunately, she went to a state school, so she doesn’t know that she knows something is up. You have to be careful here. If you even remotely verbalize what she doesn’t know she knows, she’ll walk away.

In conclusion,  I wish I wrote this.  (I need a humorous/gay article in a literary publication to get Ariel to know I exist!)



Her life would suck without men
Wed, 4 February 2009, 11:11 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Original American Idol and pop-star-with-hilariously-titled-songs Kelly Clarkson has recently faced a barrage of blog-tag allegations that she “could so like girls”.  And so, like Lindsay Lohan before her, she  has made a statement rejecting the l-word label:

notgay

“I get that all the time,” she tells AOL’s pop culture news site, PopEater.com.“People are like, ‘Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I’d really love it.’ Lesbians tell it to me all the time […] I’m like, ‘I’m glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that […] but I happen to like boys.’”

But Kelly, why can’t you just give girls a chance?

“[I] could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man.” 

Hmm, good point.  I don’t know of any “stable, quiet” lesbos.  Do you?

But anyway.  Are we buying this?  Somehow I just don’t find the “I like boys” line all that convincing.  (Apologies to those of you who have said it to me.  Keep trying.)  At any rate, I don’t see why she’s trying to fight it.  Being a lesbian is so hot right now!



LiLo doesn’t like labels (is gay)
Mon, 10 November 2008, 1:49 pm
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags:

From Lindsay’s interview in Harper’s Bazaar:

Would she classify herself as bisexual? “Maybe. Yeah.” Lesbian? “No.”

She goes on, “I don’t want to classify myself. First of all, you never know what’s going to happen — tomorrow, in a month, a year from now, five years from now. I appreciate people, and it doesn’t matter who they are, and I feel blessed to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself that I can say that.”

lr1



What we learned this weekend
Mon, 13 October 2008, 12:43 pm
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Connecticut has joined the United States of Sodom and Gomorrah!  Yay!  So that brings the count to a whopping… 3.  *sigh*

Betty White called Sarah Palin “one crazy bitch” lol!

Now that I’ve graduated from college I’m suddenly good at beer pong (high-altitude, at least).  Ah, regret.

And the best news of all… Lindsay Lohan loves leggings.



This is already the best lesbian week ever.
Tue, 23 September 2008, 11:02 am
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: ,

So by now you’ve heard the totally awesome news:  Lindsay dropped the bomb!  Well actually, it wasn’t very bomb-like at all.  It was more like a casual affirmation (non-denial?).  But still a huge deal.  I know I said it was cool with me if those two didn’t want to do any relationship-defining.  But when I read the news today, I just  couldn’t prevent this little smile-type thingy from cracking on my surly face.

Special thank you to Virb for emailing me about the news an hour before I even got in to work.  It was a great, gay way to start my morning!  (Stupid Mountain Standard Time difference.  And poor Alex, another hour behind on breaking L. Ron news!)  But anyway, the important thing is that we’re all caught up now, so we can gchat about it incessantly for the rest of the day (and for days to come).

Also I love this pic.  I’ve been seeing it everywhere lately but I’m going to post it anyway.  And I’m not even going to alter it with Paint, because those smiles say it all, and I have a lot of feelings today.