Ah, Regret.

50 Cent Does Not Like My Blog


Ah… hello? *taps microphone* Is this thing on? Greetings, dear readers–it’s me, your long-lost blogger. Wait, do I still have any readers? Or is it just the two people who ended up here by googling “regret lesbian blog”? All right then, you two.  Let’s get started.

I realize that my posts are appearing at an alarmingly sporadic rate these days, and for this I apologize. My goal is to get back to posting on a sort-of-weekly basis (if I ever did!), as opposed to this maaaybe-monthly-if-you’re-lucky schedule I seem to be following right now. And if you think that’s an empty promise, then I applaud your pessimism: as a wise man once said, people like us are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised, not like those foolish, decidedly un-lumpy optimists. At any rate, I will most likely put forth the effort to post more, if for no other reason than to keep Brendan off suicide watch.

So for today’s post, I thought we could do a little round-up of noteworthy (read: gay and/or hilarious) news from around the internetz.  Rest assured that I have only selected topics that are of the utmost importance, and whose extraordinary impact on our daily lives is undeniable.  Because that’s the award-winning brand of gritty, hard-hitting journalism you’ve come to expect from “regret lesbian blog”–er, I mean Ah, Regret.

All the regret that’s fit to print.


Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves fishsticks
Fri, 10 April 2009, 10:54 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , ,

The saga continues!  Wednesday night’s episode of “South Park” (thanks Brendan!) tackled one of the most pressing issues of our time: Kanye West’s sexuality.


As usual, the way they got to it (Jimmy writes “the funniest joke of all time” [a joke about fishsticks], which becomes a national comedic phenomenon and is subsequently told to Kanye West in an interview, but he doesn’t get it, so he embarks on a desperate mission to solve it and ends up beating Carlos Mencia to death in the process because he took credit for the joke…) was utterly bizarre, but in the end it all worked out because a famous person got lambasted for obnoxious personality traits (in this case, an unbelievably gigantic ego coupled with homophobic undertones).

Let’s go to the videotape.

Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves lesbos

Um OK so, this is interesting.  Remember Kanye West, America’s straightest man?  Well, my beloved AE is reporting that he is rumored to be dating… a lesbian!  Her name is Amber Rose, and as for her purported sexuality… well, let’s have a look, shall we?


Uh yeah, even Erin’s gaydar is going off right now.  What is this, some sort of double-beard scheme?  I don’t know what to make of it.  I know that in “Stronger” he said “I’d do anything for a blonde dyke”, but keep in mind that this is coming from a rapper whose lyrics only occasionally make any sort of sense.

Maybe they really are in a relationship, and it was their love of rainbows that brought them together.  Or maybe when Amber said “I’m gay” Kanye thought she was just saying that she’s dope.  But listen Cambpell (and any other confused/hopeful parties), I’m sorry but the moral of this story is NOT that dykes like to give blowjobs.  (Jenny won’t even eat oysters for god’s sake.)

Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves old school Nuggets jerseys

One of the main purposes–the main purpose, I daresay–of this blog is to barf rainbows all over your computer screen.  So, in that spirit, I’d like to pay tribute to my fellow rainbow-worshipping blogger, Kanye West.


Apparently Mr. West is gay.  Not gay as in “gay”, but gay as in “dope”.  I mean seriously, don’t get it twisted–he does not like dudes.  In fact, he has had sexual intercourse with many women, he’ll have you know.  But despite his unwavering heterosexuality, Kanye loves “gay”.  And, not one to keep his feelings all bottled up inside, the rapper–who has described himself as “the voice of this generation”–barfed a rainbow all over the latest issue of Details magazine (thanks Alex).