Ah, Regret.


And for the lump on your list…
Tue, 21 December 2010, 12:37 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , , ,

Dear readers, xmas is upon us, and my gingerbread heart is heavy.  And not just because we overdid it with the rainbow M&M roof decorations.  No, it’s just that each year, as everyone scrambles at the last minute to buy the perfect thing for every single person on their list, I can’t help but feel a little empty inside.

If “A Charlie Brown Christmas” or the greeting cards my mom sends me are any indication, xmas is supposed to be about peace, love, and Jesus; instead, it’s about iPads.  Although I’m sure there’s some sort of Bible app available.  But that’s besides the point!  Frenzied, mindless consumerism pervades every aspect of this modern life.  It’s depressing, you guys.

And, lo…



The Yuletide GAY.

OK, people (and by “people” I mean the three of you who googled “snooki hair bump” to find this blog), it’s xmastime, and that can mean only one thing: my gay little heart is bursting with a whole gingerbread house full of red and green (and the rest of Roy G. Biv) feelings.  Let’s eat.

Yum.



F.A.Q. (F-ing Annoying Questions)
margaret

This book cover could very well be based on a picture of me, circa 1995.

Why in god’s name has it been so long since your last post?

Let’s find out.



How the Dyke Stole Hxmas, Part III: Yes, Val-ginia, there is a Santa Claus

(You thought that said “vagina”, didn’t you!  Clearly you’ve been reading this blog too much.)  OK FINE people, I’ll admit it: thanks to your outpouring of xmas-y guest posts, comments, and gchats, it has recently come to my attention that I like more things about xmas than I originally thought I did.  

ho_ho_horrors

[Image: Chicago Tribune.  Mad props to Colin.]

It’s like that time Charlie Brown finally learned what xmas is all about. (Except I’m probably more of a Peppermint Patty.)  Anyway, let’s see what you guys came up with!

GRINCH’D!



How the Dyke Stole Hxmas, Part II: Little Cindy Lou Who Strikes Back
Tue, 9 December 2008, 9:47 am
Filed under: Guest Posts, Required Reading | Tags: ,

If my festive xmas post left you feeling grumpier than a Walmart employee on December 26, you should enjoy this rebuttal from Shannon (See Fig. 1). 

xmas_shan

(Fig. 1) I wouldn't mind bumping into her under the mistletoe...

Hold on to your (Santa) hats.



How the Dyke Stole Hxmas!

It has recently come to my attention (read: the office xmas tree just got assembled) that it is now officially that time of year known as “xmastime” (see Fig. 1 and Fig. 2).

[Fig. 1] Everyone else (who isn't Jewish or whatnot) at xmastime.

Fig. 1: Everyone else (who isn't Jewish or whatnot) at xmastime.

grinch

Fig. 2: Me at xmastime.

Get the picture?

A loooot more grinchiness.