Ah, Regret.


It’s about time I stood up for myself.
Fri, 3 June 2011, 7:38 pm
Filed under: Other Whimsy | Tags: , ,

And yes, I do bar mitzvahs.  Email me.

(The intro got a little bit cut off, but it was something to the effect of, “I just got back from the gym, and boy are my arms tired!”)



Answer: Because everyone else is doing it. Duh.
Thu, 19 March 2009, 1:59 pm
Filed under: Other Whimsy | Tags: , ,

(Did you really need to ask?)

http://twitter.com/vallyo

Also added a lil widget on the left sidebar for ya.  Now you’re in the loop.

I don’t care what you think about Twitter.  If it’s good enough for Rachel Maddow, Kathy Griffin, and MC Hammer, it’s good enough for me.

tweety_lump



Belated Birthday Blog-Worthiness

OK so as you’re certainly aware, my birthday was eight days ago.  I’m a year older, surlier, and a whole lot gayer (“wiser” is up for debate).  But enough about how awesome I am.  The reason for this post is that some of the Internet-based birthday wishes I received were just too hilarious to keep to myself.  So, for your consideration, I present the following:

My Top 3 Blog-Worthy Bday Wishes

Click here for the list.



An open ecard to everyone in belated celebration of Labor Day
Tue, 2 September 2008, 1:54 pm
Filed under: Open ecards, Required Reading | Tags: ,

After an illustrious Labor Day weekend, I’m sitting here at work instead of lying in bed. This does not please me. But the good news, faithful reader, is that my dismal mood has inspired me to send you an ecard.

That’s right. While I’ve slaved away (for over one month!) to create internet hilarity through gossip, gayness, hyperbole, half-truths, pseudo-news, silly cats, and photographs altered with MS Paint, what have you accomplished lately?

You’ve biked across the country, enrolled in grad school, successfully moved to a new city, gotten promoted at work, made tons of new friends, lost weight, gotten married, raised money for a good cause, finished that novel you’ve been working on, etc etc etc.

Well… great effort and all, but I still win.



For those of you following along at home

A Few Reasons My Blog Totally Rules

  • It’s so humble!
  • Exact figures have not yet been released, but early reports estimate that posting in it has more than halved my already underwhelming productivity levels at work.
  • It’s one of the (many, apparently!) things that makes me gayer than Cat C. aka Gramps. (For those of you who don’t have the pleasure of knowing that Pioneer of Gay, let me put it this way: it’s kind of like saying Shelley is now gayer than Marie, or Lindsay is gayer than Ellen.)
  • Spaghetti Cat!
  • It gives Alex a forum in which to frantically post hilarious/incoherent comments. (Haven’t read all of them yet? You’re not getting the full surlylump blog experience. Go back right now and click the “comments” link on almost every post I’ve ever made.)
  • Baby Unicorn: It makes people believe in me.
  • It has the scientifically-proven ability to make people snort coffee out the nose.
  • It makes you, dear reader, just a little bit gayer too.