Ah, Regret.

Go gay or go home!
Tue, 9 September 2008, 3:03 pm
Filed under: Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags:

"I can't get a man so maybe I should cross over."

Kylie Minogue has revealed that a lack of men in her life has seen her consider turning gay. The singer said she had a crush on the bisexual early-1900s actress Tallulah Bankhead. “I’d go gay for her,” she said. “She was a fascinating and exotic woman.”

“Turn gay”; “go gay.”  Hmm.  I’m wondering whether phrases like these contribute to my parents’ overall confusion about “gay”.

Well Kylie, at any rate, we could have Marie touch you and that would take care of everything.


Uh yeah my poor mother sure was startled by the news, but Big Al took it in stride
Fri, 22 August 2008, 10:44 am
Filed under: Gchatterbox, Required Reading | Tags: , ,

me: marie just made a really compelling case for why i’m gayer than her
Alexandra: marie forgets that she’s the one who had posters of the US softball team plastered all over her childhood bedroom
me: hahahha
Alexandra: (and to think mothers are surprised!!! when we tell them)

For those of you following along at home

A Few Reasons My Blog Totally Rules

  • It’s so humble!
  • Exact figures have not yet been released, but early reports estimate that posting in it has more than halved my already underwhelming productivity levels at work.
  • It’s one of the (many, apparently!) things that makes me gayer than Cat C. aka Gramps. (For those of you who don’t have the pleasure of knowing that Pioneer of Gay, let me put it this way: it’s kind of like saying Shelley is now gayer than Marie, or Lindsay is gayer than Ellen.)
  • Spaghetti Cat!
  • It gives Alex a forum in which to frantically post hilarious/incoherent comments. (Haven’t read all of them yet? You’re not getting the full surlylump blog experience. Go back right now and click the “comments” link on almost every post I’ve ever made.)
  • Baby Unicorn: It makes people believe in me.
  • It has the scientifically-proven ability to make people snort coffee out the nose.
  • It makes you, dear reader, just a little bit gayer too.

I kissed a girl, and I may do it again

Yesterday I took a kindly jab at “blogging about Music”, all in good fun, but today it has come to my attention that perhaps some people would find my comment a bit insensitive. So I would like to apologize to myself. I will now blog about music.

I have been a little behind the pop music times lately, especially because [insert litany of perfectly valid excuses], so bear with me. It recently came to my attention that “pop newcomer Katy Perry had a top 5 single with ‘I Kissed a Girl‘.” First of all, LOL! Secondly, waaaiit a minute, that song title sounds familiar… remember singer-songwriter Jill Sobule‘s 1995 hit of the same name? No? Well congratulations, you’re not Alex, and also you’re not that gay. Except for your secret love of the Indigo Girls. But I digress.

To provide some background, Sobule’s song is a touchy-feely fuzzy empowering I-like-girls-now-yay deal (So I looked at you, you had guilt in your eyes/But it only lasted a little while/And then I felt your hand above my knee/And we laughed at the world”).

Perry’s little number, on the other hand, is all about the drunk girls making out (“I kissed a girl just to try it/I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it… Don’t mean I’m in love tonight”). I won’t name names, but perhaps some of you find this song empowering, as well. I know, I know, you are not gay, you just dabble in gay, and you needed an anthem of your very own.

Anyway, when discussing Katy Perry’s song in an interview, Sobule said the following:

“Maybe I’ll write a third ‘I Kissed a Girl’ for fun. It will be about how I kissed her, Ieft the dull boyfriend, got gay-married in California, and really no one gave a shit.”

Brilliant! I demand to be included in this “I Kissed a Girl” songwriting extravaganza. Here is my version:

I was minding my own business
Then Marie touched me
Then I kissed a girl
Who is not gay but loves rainbows
And convinced me to uhaul it across the country
(Apparently lesbians tend to do that)
Also we could get gay-married in California
And no one would give a shit (jk, I know Heathie would)

Aren’t you glad Alex gayed up my musical tastes in the summer of 2007?