Ah, Regret.


Still chasing rainbows

DSCN0499

'I love lesbians, but in the least d-bag way possible.'

This past weekend Denver was hosting some sort of rainbow-lovers’ festival.  And I <3 rainbows!!!!!  So I rounded up fellow ROYGBIV-ers Camby and Erin, and we hopped onto our unicorn and rode into the city to see what all the fuss was about.

Lez B friends.

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Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves old school Nuggets jerseys

One of the main purposes–the main purpose, I daresay–of this blog is to barf rainbows all over your computer screen.  So, in that spirit, I’d like to pay tribute to my fellow rainbow-worshipping blogger, Kanye West.

sweater

Apparently Mr. West is gay.  Not gay as in “gay”, but gay as in “dope”.  I mean seriously, don’t get it twisted–he does not like dudes.  In fact, he has had sexual intercourse with many women, he’ll have you know.  But despite his unwavering heterosexuality, Kanye loves “gay”.  And, not one to keep his feelings all bottled up inside, the rapper–who has described himself as “the voice of this generation”–barfed a rainbow all over the latest issue of Details magazine (thanks Alex).

Blehhh!



We’re not gay…

…we just really love cake.

cake7

You’re probably wondering how we got it to look like that.  Well… we just touched it.  JK!!!!!  

Actually, Erin and I went through the extremely labor-intensive–yet gratifying, in a womanly sort of way–process of “baking”.  Not my preferred method of creating foods (Measuring exact amounts!  Baking for exact times!  Wondering whether it’s “done” or not!  The perils of high-altitude baking!), but I think the results were worth the slavish hours spent in the kitchen.  And considering the fact that Erin was involved, I’m thanking my lucky stars that neither the cake nor the kitchen ended up in flames.

The recipe comes from surprisingly entertaining foodie blog The Omnomicon.  (Mad props to Virb for suggesting that I “make this cake and blog about it”.)  Now I’m not usually the type to read blogs about foodstuffs, but I have to admit that this one stands on its own as worthwhile reading material.  Case in point:  the author’s recommended occasions for serving the rainbow cake:

  • A child’s birthday
  • Your mom’s birthday
  • Coming out to your conservative parents
    • If you’re a lesbian, they’ll be thrilled that you won’t be forgoing your feminine kitchen duties.
    • If you’re the kind of gay dude who makes cakes for your parents, they were probably on to you anyway.

You’ll note that the original recipe is low in both fat and sugar.  Well, that just doesn’t sound like cake to me.  If I’m going to eat healthy cake, I might as well drink decaf coffee or the “reformulated” version of Sparks.  Besides, if god wanted cake to be healthy, he wouldn’t have created butter and sugar.  So in order to avoid blashpemy (and healthy eating), Erin and I modified the recipe to include heart-stopping (or in sugar’s case, quite the opposite) amounts of those ingredients.

Such a momentous cake-baking should not go un-photo-documented.  So allow me to walk you through our gay day in the kitchen:

Gake?



Her life would suck without men
Wed, 4 February 2009, 11:11 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Original American Idol and pop-star-with-hilariously-titled-songs Kelly Clarkson has recently faced a barrage of blog-tag allegations that she “could so like girls”.  And so, like Lindsay Lohan before her, she  has made a statement rejecting the l-word label:

notgay

“I get that all the time,” she tells AOL’s pop culture news site, PopEater.com.“People are like, ‘Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I’d really love it.’ Lesbians tell it to me all the time […] I’m like, ‘I’m glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that […] but I happen to like boys.’”

But Kelly, why can’t you just give girls a chance?

“[I] could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man.” 

Hmm, good point.  I don’t know of any “stable, quiet” lesbos.  Do you?

But anyway.  Are we buying this?  Somehow I just don’t find the “I like boys” line all that convincing.  (Apologies to those of you who have said it to me.  Keep trying.)  At any rate, I don’t see why she’s trying to fight it.  Being a lesbian is so hot right now!



The Facts of Dyke
Wed, 22 October 2008, 10:54 am
Filed under: Other Whimsy | Tags:

Who didn’t love The Facts of LIfe?  Four gals living together at boarding school, having cheesy girly fun–not to mention cheesy girly drama–and talking about feelings (instead of making out with each other).  Um… GAY!  So, so gay.  Those are truly the facts of lesbian life (right Alex?).

Therefore even if you find it alarming that the show has inspired a porno called The Dirty Facts of Life, to be released November 18 (mark your calendar!), you can’t tell me that you find the “plot” of the film completely implausible.

“[…] a kinky and wild twist on the relationships between the girls of the Eastwood School and their lesbian housemother Mrs. Garris. The girls get scared when they suspect Mrs. Garris of going straight after a visit by the plumber. Together they devise a plan to win her back to her lesbian roots by seducing her. Throughout the day Mrs. Garris defends herself against their sexual advances in the name of good housekeeping. But in the end everyone wins in a triumphant orgy.” [Village Voice]

Indeed.  One can only hope most of the action takes place in Mrs. Garrett’s bakery, Edna’s Edibles.  I bet Jo thought this day would never, er, come.



Belated Birthday Blog-Worthiness

OK so as you’re certainly aware, my birthday was eight days ago.  I’m a year older, surlier, and a whole lot gayer (“wiser” is up for debate).  But enough about how awesome I am.  The reason for this post is that some of the Internet-based birthday wishes I received were just too hilarious to keep to myself.  So, for your consideration, I present the following:

My Top 3 Blog-Worthy Bday Wishes

Click here for the list.