Ah, Regret.

The Surly, Lumpy Audacity of Hope
Wed, 5 November 2008, 11:51 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Things that make me crack a genuine smile (not one of those smirk thingies I usually do):

1. Obama = President (!!!)

2. Heathie calling me last night in tears of (only sort-of-drunk) joy regarding #1.


<3333 !!!

Yeah, I actually lost my cynicism for a minute.  Wow.  America, I really… really didn’t think you had it in you.  I’m still stunned.  But you know what they say: the nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

More audacity?


You’re enjoying your election year, everything’s going your way (or not), then along comes Denver Downer
Thu, 28 August 2008, 12:33 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , , ,

Bad news, you guys. Apparently the Democrats are not partying hardy at this year’s national convention. According to the New York Times,

A new complaint being whispered by disgruntled guests [is that] partying in Denver is a downer.

Oh no! How did the Mile High City, the closest metropolis to my current residence, become the Debbie Downer of DNC host cities?

Blame nervous Democrats who are remembering their brash optimism in 2000 and 2004 […] or the party leaders who have warned attendees not to drink because of the altitude.

“Blame it on the altitude! (BIOTA)!” Hey, that’s my line (and also this Colorado-based bottled water company‘s, apparently)! Except I would argue that high altitude is a great party-booster. Attendees of the “Sex, Politics and Cocktails” shindig, sponsored by Planned Parenthood, seemed to have the right idea:

Bill Walsh, a delegate from South Carolina, dressed the patriotic part in a cowboy hat and a button-down shirt in an American flag pattern. “The air is thin and we’re all high,” Mr. Walsh said.

That’s the spirit Bill! South Carolina? You belong here in Boulder. But anyway, I’ll concede that high altitude isn’t all fun and games for everyone:

Partygoers who crowded into the bathroom at “Red Hot Affair” complained of headaches from altitude-induced dehydration.

Oh dear. Perhaps next time the Dems will stick to convening/partying at sea level. What they really should have done was arrive here a week or two early for some high altitude booze training. Ah, regret.

Dear Readers, Lots of Regrets
Tue, 26 August 2008, 10:09 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , ,

Dear Faithful Readers,

I apologize for my less-than-prolific output in recent days. I offer you that age-old excuse, “work is busy”. I know, I know, I too thought that I had absolutely nothing to do at work and that’s why I have time to spend hours typing (and computer-drawing) about gay and/or other concerns. Distressingly, that is not the case this week.

As Brendan correctly pointed out this morning, I should be getting paid to blog full time. That way you people would never have to want for massive gay doses of internet hilarity. But alas, currently my only payment for this little gig is the smile that (I imagine) graces your lips and the rainbow that ( I imagine) glistens in your eye (perhaps just a reflection from your computer screen?) as you read each new gem.

I will try to squeeze out as many posts as I possibly can in the upcoming days, if you’ll bear with me. Or if that doesn’t work out, then Baby Unicorn, you blog in my absence! (Baby Unicorn: Just as soon as you explain to me how to type using hoofed feet and a single horn!)

Regretfully yours,

The Lump

P.S. In the mean time you might want to go back and read some of the comment strings on my blog posts, especially this one which has gotten quite epic lately. It will be like watching reruns, except better!

You’re enjoying your day, everything’s going your way, then along comes Vallie Downer
Wed, 6 August 2008, 11:10 am
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: , , , , , ,

If you were frantically wondering why there’s been a lull in my blog these days, it’s because I was out of town this past weekend up until last night. My bad. What was I doing with my time? Well, I can best sum it all up in three words: sea level drinking. Anyway, the first day of work after vacation is always bothersome, so in that spirit, I’d like to register various complaints for your enjoyment/annoyance.

  • I’m tired.
  • My phone is dead, and I can’t find my phone charger. Or my backup phone charger which I purchased the last time this sort of thing happened.
  • Heather is not really responding to my gchats. Oh, and she just signed off.
  • Cable guys never show up when they say they will.
  • I have a debilitating caffeine addiction.
  • Moving is annoying. Our stuff is still sitting in boxes at the apt. and hasn’t put itself away as of yet.
  • I miss the Coug and Gordy. Actually, I also miss everyone that doesn’t live in Boulder.
  • (I have a lot of feelings.)
  • It has recently come to my attention that if my keyboard layout were Dvorak instead of QWERTY, the improved inboard stroke flow would purportedly reduce finger fatigue. (Hm that sure sounded dirty.) Alas, the Dvorak design never quite took off.
  • I’m becoming irritated with my own barrage of complaints.
  • But god, I love to complain.

This is going to be a Day, all right. *Debbie Downer sad trombone sound*