Ah, Regret.

CakeSpy: Lump-Tested, Unicorn-Approved

S0 I was wandering through the streets of Capitol Hill one recent Saturday afternoon, trying to choose from one of the 18 coffee shops in my direct line of vision (a wannabe coffee snob: possibly the only thing worse than a real one), when a splash of bright pink in a store window caught my eye:

Fig. 1: Spotted.

Surly meets sweet.


I didn’t text you last night. TEQUILA texted you from my phone…

Oh my goodness, it’s been WAY too long.  My blogging fingers are getting fat!  (Alex: insert “finger” joke here.)  Time to give them a workout.  (More finger jokes!)

Speaking of fingers, sometimes our fingers do certain things when we’re drunk that we later regret.  Yeah, I don’t know what you were thinking, but I was referring to Texts From Last Night.  (Thanks Colin and all of you people who have the link on your MyFacePage/GTwitterChat/Thingamablogs.)  If you (somehow!) haven’t seen this site yet, you really need to take a look.

Vodpod videos no longer available.


The concept is brilliant: a forum in which one can immortalize one’s regrettable (presumably–hopefully?–drunk) text messages from the previous night.  Perfect!  Don’t prevent regret; let it happen, and then celebrate it!  Why does regret continue to have this stigma of being “shameful”?  Regret can be funny!  (You can post it on the internet to entertain all of your friends!)

For example:

Dear Tequila, No Regrets

Heather, is this what you’ve become?

me:  i love how when heather ghchats these days, she goes on sporadically, sends me something crazy (usually in caps), then suddenly signs off
we used to have conversations!
Colin:  now she is just like a lolcat with a blackberry


(Does Major Tom have a BlackBerry too?  Or does he just use yours and claw all of the keys off of it?)

How the Dyke Stole Hxmas, Part III: Yes, Val-ginia, there is a Santa Claus

(You thought that said “vagina”, didn’t you!  Clearly you’ve been reading this blog too much.)  OK FINE people, I’ll admit it: thanks to your outpouring of xmas-y guest posts, comments, and gchats, it has recently come to my attention that I like more things about xmas than I originally thought I did.  


[Image: Chicago Tribune.  Mad props to Colin.]

It’s like that time Charlie Brown finally learned what xmas is all about. (Except I’m probably more of a Peppermint Patty.)  Anyway, let’s see what you guys came up with!


Cindy, I know you read my blog.

[gchat excerpt from this morning] 

Colin are we going to get an election blog post through a lesbian lens?
me hmm
i hate the election and i’m gay.
there’s the post.

OK people, calm down for just a minute and give me a chance to clarify that statement.  It was one of those heat-of-the-moment things so perhaps it didn’t come out quite right.  What I was really trying to say was, “I strongly dislike the number and frequency of harassing election-related phone calls (many robocalls, some real [college junior poly-sci major] people) I have received over the past several weeks due to being an unaffiliated voter in a swing state, and society may consider me gay, but I don’t like labels–there’s a spectrum, you know!”

Phew.  I guess emotions are running high–or, for lesbos (and [including?] Hx), “higher than usual”–right now with all of this election anxiety.  In case you were wondering, yes I did Barack the vote today (Colin: I was Biden my time waiting for you to tell me that).  I know my vote doesn’t count (I don’t care what you say, Hx! Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t really mean that.  I do care what you say.  Every vote counts.  The audacity of hope.  Obamarama.), but there’s no way I was going to miss out on the coveted “I Voted” sticker.  If I get caught walking around town without that thing stuck to my shirt, a bunch of hippie college kids just might feel the need to beat some social consciousness into me with their bong.

Anyway.  Back to the robocalls.  The following is a list of the people (robots?) who have called me lately to tell me an important message (in no particular order): Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, Rudolph Giuliani(?!), John McCain.  The following is a list of the people who have not called me lately to tell me an important message: Cindy McCain.  

I know, right!  What’s up with that?  I would have thought that Cindy would have had an important message for me regarding prescription drug addiction, or starving orphans in India, or the loneliness of marriage or something.  Well I have a message for you, Cindy: maybe if you’d taken the time to call me I would have voted differently.  But it’s too late for that now!  Listen Cindy, I’ve said this to your husband (and also to JoJo), and now I’ll say it to you: take a look at my blog title.  You feeling a little bit like that right now?  (Cindy: “We didn’t want your gay vote anyway.”)


What’s with today, today?

Brendan: you need to blog today damnit
p.s. drunken posts you regret later are acceptable and COMPLETELY appropriate

Heather: i’m riding my bike in the homecoming parade today

Shannon: cant you just get drunk at midnight
me: that’s what i did last night, and now i’m filled with regret.
Shannon: yeah you need to balance that out with a wholesome night of disney magic

Kayla: i’m assuming thingy isn’t a real word
me: it’s a real word!
Kayla: thingy is?
so thingie is spelled wrong?

Colin: can I have the link to your blog?
I don’t want to have google searches on my computer for “Regret lesbian blog”

Alexandra: are you interested in girls?