Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: beerz, burgs, fish tacos, gay marriage is all the rage, the virbs, uhaul, unicorns
- She lives in Charm City aka B-more, Lesboland
- She is gay married, which is all the rage.
- She is a beer snob.
- She loves crabs. And other seafood. Fish tacos, I’m sure.
- When dissatisfied with ground-level views, she perches in a tree.
- She was my housemate (until I had to suddenly uhaul away).
- She has a keen ear for my easy-to-miss muttered side-comments.
- She believes in unicorns.
- (My personal favorite:) She wrote about kburg’s “fiery eyes” in a now-legendary RSD post.
So here is some gay beer to make up for it.
Listen up all you beer-lovers. If you’re like me, you’re already aware that beer is good for you (that’s why you drink so much of it!). But now beer is even better for you. Meet Stampede Light Plus, the first government-approved beer with added vitamins!
Is this the best thing since Sparks? Stampede’s website seems to insinuate that consuming this product will help you do more push-ups. Well heck, any beer can give you beer muscles! Hmm so what else… ah yes, Stampede Light Plus reportedly gives you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of all B vitamins! Er, if you drink an entire case of it (no problem!). OK, if you’re still not convinced to give it a try, perhaps Jessica Simpson can persuade you. (Perhaps not.)
Well if you’re sold on the idea of a vitamin-spiked brew, you’ll need to visit a fine liquor-vending establishment in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Kansas, Minnesota, Texas, or Wisconsin (Stampede’s corporate office is based in Dallas). If they were smart they’d start selling it in Boulder. I mean most people here probably aren’t swayed by Jessica Simpson’s opinions, but they sure love their health food/drink gimmicky stuff (Boulder is home to organic fast food joints, “eco food cafes”, “oxygen bars” [?!?!], etc.).
But I guess until then I will continue to consume ordinary beer, which still provides more than my RDA of vitamin D (for drunk) and vitamin R (for regret)!