Ah, Regret.

I didn’t text you last night. TEQUILA texted you from my phone…

Oh my goodness, it’s been WAY too long.  My blogging fingers are getting fat!  (Alex: insert “finger” joke here.)  Time to give them a workout.  (More finger jokes!)

Speaking of fingers, sometimes our fingers do certain things when we’re drunk that we later regret.  Yeah, I don’t know what you were thinking, but I was referring to Texts From Last Night.  (Thanks Colin and all of you people who have the link on your MyFacePage/GTwitterChat/Thingamablogs.)  If you (somehow!) haven’t seen this site yet, you really need to take a look.

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The concept is brilliant: a forum in which one can immortalize one’s regrettable (presumably–hopefully?–drunk) text messages from the previous night.  Perfect!  Don’t prevent regret; let it happen, and then celebrate it!  Why does regret continue to have this stigma of being “shameful”?  Regret can be funny!  (You can post it on the internet to entertain all of your friends!)

For example:

(612): from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

(312): i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

(630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

Sometimes it’s about NO regrets:

(310): your room smells of hookers.
(904): And success

(413): Dude this is getting pretty serious, we had a sober make out session last night.

(205): I didn’t slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand…

(That last one is the perfect excuse for sooo many things.  I’ll be using it from now on.  A lot.)

And sometimes, it’s all about gay:

(704): How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i’m so adorable and that he had a ”blasty”

(703): I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.

(412): I can’t remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.

Truly inspirational stuff.  As Colin said, “I am honestly not sure if [TFLN] makes me think more or less of humanity.” And I am honestly not sure whether the fact that I love this website makes me think more or less of myself.

Anyway, I think Heather and I could have contributed a few gems back in the day (“regret socks”, anyone?).  Thinking back–although I’d rather not–on all the drunk texts I’ve sent, I’m realizing that mine (if readable) tend to fall into the category of Just Plain Embarrassing, rather than Embarrassing–Yet Hilarious!.  So that is definitely something for me to work on.  Maybe someday I will send one worth posting on TFLN.  (And I honestly can’t decide whether that’s a good thing.)


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

um… how did you know about the animal crackers? i’m so embarrassed.

Comment by wix

Even worse than the texts you send are the ones you receive the next morning, from numbers you don’t recognize.

Comment by hx

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