Ah, Regret.


Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves old school Nuggets jerseys

One of the main purposes–the main purpose, I daresay–of this blog is to barf rainbows all over your computer screen.  So, in that spirit, I’d like to pay tribute to my fellow rainbow-worshipping blogger, Kanye West.

sweater

Apparently Mr. West is gay.  Not gay as in “gay”, but gay as in “dope”.  I mean seriously, don’t get it twisted–he does not like dudes.  In fact, he has had sexual intercourse with many women, he’ll have you know.  But despite his unwavering heterosexuality, Kanye loves “gay”.  And, not one to keep his feelings all bottled up inside, the rapper–who has described himself as “the voice of this generation”–barfed a rainbow all over the latest issue of Details magazine (thanks Alex).

“Take the word gay—like, in hip-hop, that’s a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I’ve encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y’know, I haven’t, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person—the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design—it’d be really dope.”

It’s true.  I mean, just look at me–I’m gay, and I’m dope.  Gay is definitely dope!

“I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, ‘Dude, that’s so good it’s almost . . . gay.‘”

Exactly.  It’s like when Bondy wears socks and sporty sandals, and I shout, “Gay!”  What I’m really trying to say is that I think she’s dope.

In an MTV interview, Kanye discussed his (strictly platonic) love of rainbows.

“I’m doing a blog right now where I’ve been collecting all of the freshest stuff that’s rainbows — Denver Nuggets jerseys, BAPE shoes, Nikes with rainbows on ’em — and saying, ‘Man I think as straight men we need to take the rainbow back because it’s fresh.'”

Omg, it’s true–old school Nuggets jerseys are the shit.  Check it out:

nugs_jerseys

Circa 1983.

english

Hall-of-famer Alex English, in rainbows.

Old logo: dope.  New logo: not dope.

Old logo: dope. New logo: not dope.

But then he gets a teensy bit defensive.

“[T]he idea of colors , life and colors and stuff, I mean how is that a gay thing?  Colors?  Having a lot of colors is gay?”

Kanye's signature shades.

Kanye's signature shades.

Well, according to the ever-informative Wikipedia,

The original gay-pride flag was hand-dyed by [San Francisco artist] Gilbert Baker. It flew in the San Francisco Gay Freedom Day Parade on June 25, 1978 […] It has been suggested that Baker was inspired by Judy Garland’s singing “Over The Rainbow”.

As for the whole “life and colors and stuff” thing,

Baker assigned specific meaning to each of the colours as follows:  Hot pink (sexuality), red (life), orange (healing), yellow (sunlight), green (nature), turquoise (magic/art), indigo (harmony), and violet (spirit).  [Sadly, pink and turqoise were later removed due to “fabric unavailability”, whatever that means.]

Oh my goodness, colors are so gay.  I’m sorry, Kanye.

On a side note, I know two ladies who own the following air freshener, and they are both in a committed relationship with another woman.  Take from that what you will.

air_freshener

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10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

who else owns that air freshener? also it was a gift from marie, so you know that means it was already gay since she touched it.

Comment by Erin

p.s. we need to find it so i can put it in the rabbit.

Comment by Erin

They can’t let us have anything, can they? They can “reclaim” the rainbow when they give us some fucking rights. Wow, that was really bitter.

Comment by Cat

I think that instead of trying to “keep” the rainbow, you would be better off to heed the adage “the best defense is a good offense” and to try to take something from straight culture. You could pick something way better than the symbol of a rainbow, like, say, old-school hip-hop sneakers http://www.urbancorner.com/adidas.html. I think that would just be a steal! Let Kanye have his old school Nuggets and Astros jerseys and take what could be yours: old-school hip-hop sneakers.

Comment by Colin

I don’t throw around words like “need” very often. But i need those shoes. After extensive searching i have come across some shoes that are pretty sweet, http://www.shoebacca.com/adidas/crazy-8-045690.html Some that are even pretty patriotic, http://www.shoebacca.com/adidas/zx-700-vulcan-018341.html But i cannot find those anywhere! Damn you colin and your amazing/unattainable taste in unisex foot fashion!

Comment by Brendan

Since when have you seen me in sporty sandals and socks?

Comment by Bondy

i think it was last wednesday at soccer

Comment by Erin

or one of the many times we’ve been over her house

Comment by VallyO

[…] Um OK so, this is interesting.  Remember Kanye West, America’s straightest man?  Well, my beloved AE is reporting that he is rumored to be dating… a lesbian!  Her name is […]

Pingback by Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves lesbos « Ah, Regret.

[…] A LONG ROAD, indeed.  Being the “voice of this generation” is a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.  Kanye, don’t let the haters stop you from […]

Pingback by Kanye isn’t gay, he just really loves fishsticks « Ah, Regret.




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