Ah, Regret.

We’re not gay…

…we just really love cake.


You’re probably wondering how we got it to look like that.  Well… we just touched it.  JK!!!!!  

Actually, Erin and I went through the extremely labor-intensive–yet gratifying, in a womanly sort of way–process of “baking”.  Not my preferred method of creating foods (Measuring exact amounts!  Baking for exact times!  Wondering whether it’s “done” or not!  The perils of high-altitude baking!), but I think the results were worth the slavish hours spent in the kitchen.  And considering the fact that Erin was involved, I’m thanking my lucky stars that neither the cake nor the kitchen ended up in flames.

The recipe comes from surprisingly entertaining foodie blog The Omnomicon.  (Mad props to Virb for suggesting that I “make this cake and blog about it”.)  Now I’m not usually the type to read blogs about foodstuffs, but I have to admit that this one stands on its own as worthwhile reading material.  Case in point:  the author’s recommended occasions for serving the rainbow cake:

  • A child’s birthday
  • Your mom’s birthday
  • Coming out to your conservative parents
    • If you’re a lesbian, they’ll be thrilled that you won’t be forgoing your feminine kitchen duties.
    • If you’re the kind of gay dude who makes cakes for your parents, they were probably on to you anyway.

You’ll note that the original recipe is low in both fat and sugar.  Well, that just doesn’t sound like cake to me.  If I’m going to eat healthy cake, I might as well drink decaf coffee or the “reformulated” version of Sparks.  Besides, if god wanted cake to be healthy, he wouldn’t have created butter and sugar.  So in order to avoid blashpemy (and healthy eating), Erin and I modified the recipe to include heart-stopping (or in sugar’s case, quite the opposite) amounts of those ingredients.

Such a momentous cake-baking should not go un-photo-documented.  So allow me to walk you through our gay day in the kitchen:


Rainbow mug: not gay enough.


How rainbows are made: teacups filled with dyed cake batter.


Skillfully-poured rainbow batter.


The counter has never looked gayer.


Erin applying the (homemade!) icing.


I'd make a great housewife.


Bondy topped the cake with a damsel-in-distress (perhaps she's allergic to butter?).

The lucky people who got to taste the rainbow were Bondy, Madge, Campbell, Cougar, and of course Erin and me.  So what happens when you eat this cake?  Well first of all, probably this:
Vodpod videos no longer available.
(From “Lisa the Drama Queen”)

And secondly, yes it does make you gay.  But perhaps you noticed that five of those six people were already gay.  Well, as Campbell (a man in the constant company of lesbians) observed, “it’s like popeye eating spinach”.  We could go watch every season of “The L Word” right now!  (Actually, I’ll probably have to eat an entire gay cake just to get through the rest of Season Six.  And gay cake makes you fat, so that’s probably not a good idea.)


15 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Is Erin frosting the cake with her fingers? If I had known she did that I probably could have barfed a rainbow.

Comment by Bondy

there’s a spatula in the upper right corner of the pic that is covered with frosting!!

also that simpsons clip is pretty much the best thing ever.

Comment by Erin

You and crider were actually the second thing i thought of the first time i saw that clip. The first being the unicorn barfing a rainbow pin that c-red has yet to give me.

Comment by Brendan

love the cake topper…
the fish mug that says ‘i’m hooked on you’…
and this cake!

Comment by originalmf

That is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Can you tell me the exact changes you made to the recipe? I want to make this for my really gay friend Sasha’s birthday

Comment by Cat

omg awesome! Campbell is a lezbro

Comment by VallyO

Dear Cat,
the main changes were to add lots of butter.
step one: buy Betty Crocker Cake Mix – Super Moist French Vanilla, then follow the second set of directions on the back, the one that calls for milk and butter (not water and oil)

The frosting: buttercream!!

Comment by Erin

Thanks Crider!

Comment by Cat

where did you find the food gel coloring ???

i looked all over and don’t want to have to buy it online :)

you guys are the bestest!

Comment by slb

Erin said she saw some gel food coloring in the spice (lol) aisle of Safeway by the birthday candles. But we just ended up using regular liquid food coloring, so if you use that you should be fine.

Soon enough there will be a rainbow gake in every east coast kitchen…

Comment by VallyO

I made this cake yesterday…it was a hit! Thanks!

Comment by Cat

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