Ah, Regret.

Hi, my name is Val and I’m a twentysomething tweeny bopper. (Hi, Val.)
Wed, 29 October 2008, 12:37 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: ,

Um… I saw High School Musical 3: Senior Year.  On opening night.  

Yeeeah.  Believe me, I did not want to blog about this, because then I would have to admit that I saw High School Musical 3 on opening night.  But lucky for you people, my sense of shame about what happened is nowhere near as strong as my urge to blog (or talk, text, gchat, etc.) about gayface!

Zef & GayChace.

Zef & GayChace.

First, some background information.  I have not seen HSM1 or HSM2 (does this mean I still have a shred of dignity left?).  While this had absolutely no bearing on my ability to follow the plot of HSM3, it probably put me in the minority for the group of theater-goers of which I was a part.

Furthermore, I maintain that there’s no way I would have paid money to see this movie–or watched it for free, even–if it weren’t for Shannon.  Shannon is 12 years old, not in the chronological sense, but more in the sense that she likes Disney Channel Original Movies and her room is plastered with shirtless Michael Phelps and Zac Efron posters.  If you’re going to see a movie like HSM3, she is the type of person you need to have with you so that her squeals and giggles can enhance (create?) your enjoyment of the experience.  

Shannon is the only person who could have made the impossible–a surly lump seated in a movie theater with HSM3 on its screen–possible.  She was the one who urged me to join her crew of twentysomething tweeny boppers for what she termed “a wholesome night of Disney magic”.  And so–against my better judgement–I did.  (What can I say?  Apparently I’m a sucker for a sunshine-y smile.)

How the movie went:

  • [Opening scene: extreme close-up of Zac Efron’s (gay)face] Shannon shrieks orgasmically (that was fast!).  I cringe from gayface overload.
  • [Rest of movie: a plot–involving a bunch of high school senior pals who write/choreograph/star in a musical–that is as mind-numbingly predictable as it is inaccurate (They don’t decide what college to to go to until the last month of school?  Representatives from Julliard attend their musical?  The jocks are also the theater fruits?  Teen couples don’t have sex?)]  Shannon giggles/gasps/claps at each plot turn.  I, for the most part, am unable to do anything except snicker and/or hold my head in my hands.

Thoughts on Zef:

  • He is so gay.  (Then again, I think everyone is so gay, so maybe this doesn’t mean anything to you.)
  • He loves to wear mancake makeup.  (The only makeup I wear is… chapstick.  Hmm.  My womanhood is threatened by Zac Efron.)
  • His biceps are large and veiny.  (He has said, “Working out is my biggest hobby.”  Well, yeah, besides applying bronzer and guyliner.)
  • I begrudgingly find him attractive when he wears a hoodie (with the hood up) and hipster jeans.  (But that’s the only time!)

In conclusion: I can’t believe I just posted about Zac Efron.  I’m sorry, Miley !!


11 Comments so far
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I want to know who’s pushing this gayface revolution. I mean, i know that gayface has been around for a long time, but for wholesome stars along the lines of Zac Efron. Think about David Cassidy or Scott Baio (not 40 and pregnant, like Joanie loves Chachi). Now gayface, which has always been bubbling beneath the surface, or on the cover of Tigerbeat, has exploded onto the main stream, rushing into teen dramas and other sleazy primetime shows (not marketed at 12 yr olds and shannon). What does all this gayface mean? Who decided that the rest of America would love gayface as much as boy crazy teen girls do?

Comment by Erin

hhaaaa i LOVE that you posted about this. the movie made him look wayyy hotter than his usual gayface. that junkyard scene?? with the flannel and bandana?? and all the jumping around in the dirt?? not gonna lie, i dig the way jeans fit that boy.

Comment by iwentwest

also, i think he’s made monumentally hotter in HSM3 by the fact that except for that adorable composer chick kelsey (you know in the real world, she and the choreogra-bro would so have jumped out of the closet by now), no one can even compete with him in the looks dept. sure, vanessa hudgens has killer legs, but the rest of her? eh. her voice kind of ruins it for me. though i did enjoy that duet.

Comment by iwentwest

bourbon betty

Comment by Campbell

LOL his face does look a bit camp in that pic! hehe

Andy x

Comment by Andy Garcia

I just read a review of what I will grudgingly abbreviate as HSM3 in the November 3 edition of The New Yorker and it seemed very appropriate for this blog and this post. This excerpt comes from the part of the review where the author, Anthony Lane, writes brief descriptions of the main characters, “…and the truly astounding Ryan (Lucas Grabeel), who dresses like Kurt from “The Sound of Music” and wants to be a choreographer, and don’t you DARE read anything into that” [author’s emphasis]. At least we at this blog are more explicit. Way more explicit (see cloud tag “Fish Tacos.”)

Comment by Colin

Considering my brilliantly subtle writing style (“He is so gay.” “I cringe from gayface overload.”), the New Yorker should be contacting me any day now about writing an article. But I’ll have to turn them down because I’m too busy with this blog.

Comment by VallyO

he kinda looks like jared leto in the left pic. was jared on the forefront of gayface in the 90’s? it seems the torch has been passed on.

Comment by OMF

i don’t know about jared leto, i could never say someone who was in requiem for a dream is gayface. ahhh, i just started autistic rocking a little bit just thinking about that movie.

Comment by Erin

You know what Shelley, I agree that Jared was at times looking a little gayface-y. He has been known to wear makeup (especially when he’s playing in his ridiculous band), but it’s more the Pete Wentz look (heavy on the guyliner, not so much on the bronzer).

Also his ever-changing hairstyles have included the perfectly wispy, asymmetrical, floppy Zef/Chace ‘do.

So yeah, I guess gayface isn’t new. It’s just SO HOT right now.

Comment by VallyO

[…] I thought it was just a one-time thing, but it’s starting to become a bad habit.  Could this mean that I am now a fan of Zac […]

Pingback by Live from New York, it’s gayface! « Ah, Regret.

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