Ah, Regret.

The Vagina Monoblogs
Thu, 18 September 2008, 1:00 pm
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: ,

[I’m just going to go ahead and label this post SO GAY.  For those of you keeping score, feel free to use it as grounds for awarding me more gay points.]

Let me start out with a little story.  I’m on a totally awesome intramural ultimate frisbee team called Team Vagina (consisting of both men and women, if you were wondering).  At our game Tuesday night, I was heckling the opposing team’s sideline.  I taunted, “Hey, how about you guys do some vagina cheers for us?”  

Everyone gave me a confused, upset look and one girl said, “WHAT?”  Then I realized they probably didn’t know why I was talking about vag.  So I said, “Our team name is VAGINA, so you should do a vagina cheer.”  

And the girl exclaimed, “Ew, that’s GROSS!!!!”  

I tried to explain to her that vaginas are not gross, they are beautiful, but she totally wasn’t having it.

OK you guys, look at your calendars, it’s the year of our lord 2008.  You know what that means? It’s high time we stopped hating on vaginas.  We can vote, we can wear jeans, we can pursue careers other than Motherhood, we can watch two women having sex on cable television.  So why do we still have Victorian-era attitudes towards our bodies?

Listen, I’m not trying to be some sort of V-Day vagina warrior here.  But I’m upset that women find their own and/or other vajayjays so repulsive.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a lesbo or not.  You don’t have to eat one to like it.  (Although it could help.)

They make great couches!

They make great couches!

I could go on and on about vagina love, but that’s well-worn territory by now.  (Personally I recommend Box Lunch by Diana Cage.  Vagina-power books aren’t usually my thing, but this one is hilarious and sassy and full of great info/tips for guys or gals, gay or straight.  You should read it, just to try it [and like it].)  

Instead, here is a list of a few of my favorite vagina nicknames (go here or here, or check out Box Lunch for even more!).  I hope it will help show you that vaginas are cute and fun, not ugly and gross.

Fun Vajayjay Names (Learn Them. Live Them. Love Them.)

  • Bearded clam
  • Beaver
  • Bermuda Triangle
  • Box
  • Breakfast of champions
  • Cooter
  • Fish taco
  • Love tunnel
  • Muffin
  • Pink canoe
Aww, see?  That wasn’t so bad.  (How could anyone hate a bearded clam?)  Maybe you have some nicknames of your own to contribute?

10 Comments so far
Leave a comment

god, im actually blushing.

“you dont have to eat one to like it.”

Comment by iwentwest

also, tell me you wrote this on your work computer. i guess the upa is a bit different from banking, though… the sec probably knows way more than they should about my petty girl drama.

Comment by iwentwest

Of course I wrote it at work. They know I’m gay, but hopefully they don’t become aware of my google image searches anytime soon…

Comment by VallyO

and here i thought you just scoured craigslist for it…

the best part is the description: “…has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom… but otherwise is in excellent shape”

i think you should have captioned it, “sit on my chaise”

Comment by iwentwest

i once went on a date with a guy who used the joke, “park my pink cadillac in your drippy garage.” suffice it to say the relationship ran out of gas before that ever happened.

Comment by iwentwest

Haha ew, he actually said that??

Time to hop off the meatwagon.

Comment by VallyO

but i just got back on the meatwagon…

Comment by thegirlworks

Well hopefully your meatwagon is… less crude.

Also… were you not on the meatwagon before ?

Comment by VallyO

whoa, wix! making ambiguous comments like that – what are we to think??

Comment by iwentwest

i remember catching an episode of tyra…and by catching an episode, i mean watching a clip on best week ever…where she did an episode on hoohoo’s complete with hoohoo puppet. the word hoohoo makes me giggle. like a schoolgirl.

Comment by The OMF

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