VallyOFiled under: Required Reading | Tags: CamBaloney, erin (is easily outraged), kanye west is heterosexual, pop music, rainbows
Um OK so, this is interesting. Remember Kanye West, America’s straightest man? Well, my beloved AE is reporting that he is rumored to be dating… a lesbian! Her name is Amber Rose, and as for her purported sexuality… well, let’s have a look, shall we?
Uh yeah, even Erin’s gaydar is going off right now. What is this, some sort of double-beard scheme? I don’t know what to make of it. I know that in “Stronger” he said “I’d do anything for a blonde dyke”, but keep in mind that this is coming from a rapper whose lyrics only occasionally make any sort of sense.
Maybe they really are in a relationship, and it was their love of rainbows that brought them together. Or maybe when Amber said “I’m gay” Kanye thought she was just saying that she’s dope. But listen Cambpell (and any other confused/hopeful parties), I’m sorry but the moral of this story is NOT that dykes like to give blowjobs. (Jenny won’t even eat oysters for god’s sake.)
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: a.chan, everything i touch or don't touch turns to gay, kanye west is heterosexual, old school lesbians, pop music, rainbows
One of the main purposes–the main purpose, I daresay–of this blog is to barf rainbows all over your computer screen. So, in that spirit, I’d like to pay tribute to my fellow rainbow-worshipping blogger, Kanye West.
Apparently Mr. West is gay. Not gay as in “gay”, but gay as in “dope”. I mean seriously, don’t get it twisted–he does not like dudes. In fact, he has had sexual intercourse with many women, he’ll have you know. But despite his unwavering heterosexuality, Kanye loves “gay”. And, not one to keep his feelings all bottled up inside, the rapper–who has described himself as “the voice of this generation”–barfed a rainbow all over the latest issue of Details magazine (thanks Alex).
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: a.chan, everything i touch or don't touch turns to gay, L. Ron, pop music
Original American Idol and pop-star-with-hilariously-titled-songs Kelly Clarkson has recently faced a barrage of blog-tag allegations that she “could so like girls”. And so, like Lindsay Lohan before her, she has made a statement rejecting the l-word label:
“I get that all the time,” she tells AOL’s pop culture news site, PopEater.com.“People are like, ‘Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I’d really love it.’ Lesbians tell it to me all the time [...] I’m like, ‘I’m glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that [...] but I happen to like boys.’”
But Kelly, why can’t you just give girls a chance?
“[I] could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man.”
Hmm, good point. I don’t know of any “stable, quiet” lesbos. Do you?
But anyway. Are we buying this? Somehow I just don’t find the “I like boys” line all that convincing. (Apologies to those of you who have said it to me. Keep trying.) At any rate, I don’t see why she’s trying to fight it. Being a lesbian is so hot right now!
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: pickled livers, pop music, regret
This post is a tribute to British pop star Lily Allen. For those of you whose mp3 collections are not heavily influenced by Popjustice, Lily is a 23 year-old pop music “singer-songwriter”. I put that phrase in quotes because, to be honest, she’s probably a lot more famous for being the daughter of actor/comedian Keith Allen, and also for being perpetually drunk, than for her singing and songwriting skillz (which are in fact awesome, but I’ll get to that in a minute).
Lily and I are about the same age, but when I contemplate how much more this young woman has accomplished in her life, I can only look back on mine with a heavy sense of regret. (*EDIT* Having completed the list below, I now realize that with the exception of items 5-7, our lives have been strikingly similar. Yesss!) See for yourself:
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: hx, i have a lot of feelings, pop music
I’m sure you know this already, but Paris Hilton–much like Lindsay Lohan–is such a good singer.
Her new single, “My BFF“, totally rules. Not nearly as much as “Nothing in This World”, but you know what, she’ll never top that one. Anyways, you know why I like this jam so much? Because it reminds me of that special someone:
Who are you texting three hundred times a day?
That’s right, a socialite singing about how hard it is to find a true BFF when you’re a socialite makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. That is so not right. I have a problem.
Heather… reassure me!
Filed under: Gchatterbox, Lezzie Celebs, Required Reading | Tags: a.chan, pop music
For you list-lovers:
Out’s 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums of All Time
Just between you and me, I <3 Melissa Etheridge (and also many gay man albums, apparently).
For you list-lovers who are also A.Chan-lovers:
Alexandra: i fear im ostracizing my straight readersme: hahah i try not to worry about that.
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: a.chan, erin (is easily outraged), everything marie touches turns to gay, hx, pop music, rainbows, uhaul
Yesterday I took a kindly jab at “blogging about Music”, all in good fun, but today it has come to my attention that perhaps some people would find my comment a bit insensitive. So I would like to apologize to myself. I will now blog about music.
I have been a little behind the pop music times lately, especially because [insert litany of perfectly valid excuses], so bear with me. It recently came to my attention that “pop newcomer Katy Perry had a top 5 single with ‘I Kissed a Girl‘.” First of all, LOL! Secondly, waaaiit a minute, that song title sounds familiar… remember singer-songwriter Jill Sobule’s 1995 hit of the same name? No? Well congratulations, you’re not Alex, and also you’re not that gay. Except for your secret love of the Indigo Girls. But I digress.
To provide some background, Sobule’s song is a touchy-feely fuzzy empowering I-like-girls-now-yay deal ( “So I looked at you, you had guilt in your eyes/But it only lasted a little while/And then I felt your hand above my knee/And we laughed at the world”).
Perry’s little number, on the other hand, is all about the drunk girls making out (“I kissed a girl just to try it/I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it… Don’t mean I’m in love tonight”). I won’t name names, but perhaps some of you find this song empowering, as well. I know, I know, you are not gay, you just dabble in gay, and you needed an anthem of your very own.
Anyway, when discussing Katy Perry’s song in an interview, Sobule said the following:
“Maybe I’ll write a third ‘I Kissed a Girl’ for fun. It will be about how I kissed her, Ieft the dull boyfriend, got gay-married in California, and really no one gave a shit.”
Brilliant! I demand to be included in this “I Kissed a Girl” songwriting extravaganza. Here is my version:
I was minding my own business
Then Marie touched me
Then I kissed a girl
Who is not gay but loves rainbows
And convinced me to uhaul it across the country
(Apparently lesbians tend to do that)
Also we could get gay-married in California
And no one would give a shit (jk, I know Heathie would)
Aren’t you glad Alex gayed up my musical tastes in the summer of 2007?
