VallyOFiled under: Required Reading | Tags: CamBaloney, Gaga in the room, tiny tim
(From “Friday Night with Jonathan Ross” on BBC One, 10/30/2009. Thanks Campbell Tim.)
As Campbell said, “Who the fuck needs Lady Gaga now?” Well actually, I do–at least until Christopher Walken starts doing this:
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: brendan is an honorary lesbian, Gaga in the room, kanye west is heterosexual, OM-GLEE, tweeny bopper starlets, tweet dreams, xoxo
Ah… hello? *taps microphone* Is this thing on? Greetings, dear readers–it’s me, your long-lost blogger. Wait, do I still have any readers? Or is it just the two people who ended up here by googling “regret lesbian blog”? All right then, you two. Let’s get started.
I realize that my posts are appearing at an alarmingly sporadic rate these days, and for this I apologize. My goal is to get back to posting on a sort-of-weekly basis (if I ever did!), as opposed to this maaaybe-monthly-if-you’re-lucky schedule I seem to be following right now. And if you think that’s an empty promise, then I applaud your pessimism: as a wise man once said, people like us are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised, not like those foolish, decidedly un-lumpy optimists. At any rate, I will most likely put forth the effort to post more, if for no other reason than to keep Brendan off suicide watch.
So for today’s post, I thought we could do a little round-up of noteworthy (read: gay and/or hilarious) news from around the internetz. Rest assured that I have only selected topics that are of the utmost importance, and whose extraordinary impact on our daily lives is undeniable. Because that’s the award-winning brand of gritty, hard-hitting journalism you’ve come to expect from “regret lesbian blog”–er, I mean Ah, Regret.
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: jane lynch is the greatest actress of our time, L-Cannon, The L Word
Hm this cast looks familiar...
Oh dear lord. Not since the announcement of “The L Word” Season Six’s “murder-mystery” theme have I felt such a heavy sense of lesbian dread. Apparently Showtime, not satisfied with the irreversible damage Ilene Chaiken has already inflicted on our lives through the directing of television shows, is gleefully providing her with an whole new outlet for her sadistic tendencies (special thanks to Ah, Regret reader Heather for the tip):
[Showtime] has greenlit nine episodes of “The Real L Word: Los Angeles,” from “L Word” creator Ilene Chaiken [...]
[The show] will follow six lesbians in Los Angeles as they go about their lives — a lesbian answer to Bravo’s ”Real Housewives” franchise. [Variety]
Wow. There is SO much that is wrong with that. Sooo so much. Shall we begin?
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: erin (is easily outraged), jane lynch is the greatest actress of our time, No time! There's never any time!, pies in the sky, Rain City, regret, teh internet pwns my lyfe
Where to begin? Well, to paraphrase Eric B & Rakim (seems like a good starting point!), It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you / without a new blog to step to.
What? Sometimes it’s just easier to say things in a song, OK?! Anyway. First of all, I have what I believe to be an excellent excuse for not having written in so long: I moved! (That is, we–as in Erin [is easily outraged] and I–moved.) That’s right, we said goodbye to Sunny Boulder and hello to Rain City–Seattle, here we are! (Cue the sound of a thousand unicorns stampeding northwestward.)
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: CamBaloney, erin (is easily outraged), everything i touch or don't touch turns to gay, lezbros, pride, rainbows
'I love lesbians, but in the least d-bag way possible.'
This past weekend Denver was hosting some sort of rainbow-lovers’ festival. And I <3 rainbows!!!!! So I rounded up fellow ROYGBIV-ers Camby and Erin, and we hopped onto our unicorn and rode into the city to see what all the fuss was about.
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: AOU, CamBaloney, pies in the sky, rainbows, the omf, unicorns, wix
So here’s a somewhat disappointing follow-up to my previous post. It would seem that the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck (BGICT)–the news of which whipped up a coneful of internet frenzy (with rainbow sprinkles on top) and inspired my new Big Gay Career Plan (BGCP)–is more elusive than a unicorn. And I don’t mean a unicorn in this blog (where you can see one in every paragraph if you look hard enough)–I mean a unicorn in the wild.
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: brendan is an honorary lesbian, lumpiness, pies in the sky, rainbows, the virbs
Let me just start out by saying that all credit for today’s post goes to Virb. (She thinks of the topic so I don’t have to. The rest of you readers, take note.) My parents certainly owe Virb a debt of gratitude, because ever since I blogged about the colors of my (amazing technicolor) parachute, she has dedicated herself to the thankless task of discovering the perfect career choice for yours lumpily. (I would try to think of ideas myself, but I just really don’t have the time. I’ve been busy with… stuff. cough. smushmrinking.*)
As you may recall from the aforementioned post, for me the real question isn’t, “What color is your parachute?” (duh–rainbow.); it’s “What careers can someone with a gay parachute like yours successfully pursue (read: tolerate)?” You may also recall that I did come up with a few promising leads, but, frustratingly, each of these–like all of the other career ideas ever postulated by me or anyone else–is ultimately going to end up getting thrown out for one reason or another (i.e. would require me to obtain a graduate degree, and/or work with people, and/or get up early, and/or put forth a great deal of effort…).
So you can see how, when it comes to figuring out a way to attain financial stability in a manner deemed socially acceptable for a college graduate with a middle-class socioeconomic background (*YAWN*–my memoirs should be riveting), Virb could very well be my only hope. No pressure or anything!
My blog is becoming the job section of surlylump.craigslist.org.
Faithful readers, you know this man. But you may not recognize him, because the last time you saw him, his ratio of facial hair to hair-on-head was reversed. However, you can rest assured that, regardless of his hair situation, Campbell aka C Man aka CamBaloney (whoops, was that last one supposed to stay between you and your mom?) is still the lezbro–New Jersey born and bred!–we all know and love.
Therefore, I am pleased to announce that our dear friend, who once turned up his nose at the mere mention of the so-called blogosphere, has just become its newest and most enthusiastic member! That’s right, our beloved lezbro–who has dubbed himself Less Annoying Than Guy Fieri (note to my foodie readers: I’m sorry, but I did have to google that name)–is going to use our era’s finest form of publication to regale us (in a manner that is, presumably, less than unbearably annoying) with tales of life, love, and–most important–food!
So after a long night of drinking Heinekens and scamming on hot skanks at the dance club, head on over to the blog that’s open 24 hours a day / 7 days a week, complete with a surly waitstaff that’s always available to offer you a cup of lukewarm coffee–or to just ignore you completely until the second you get up to walk out of the *$&@!# place. Jersey style (<3).
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: cats are evil, hx, no poodles!, regret
Do pets have regrets?
Overzealous dog owners would say yes. (But considering their impassioned–bordering on hysterical!–declarations of obnoxiously exaggerated pet abilities, perhaps we should ignore these people.) Conventional scientific wisdom would say no. (Curse us uneducated masses and our damned Disney anthropomorphism!) But now the Times is saying, “Perhaps!” In his article “In Tucked Tail, Pangs of Regret?“, John Tierny takes a look at some emerging evidence on the subject.
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: CamBaloney, erin (is easily outraged), fish tacos, lezbros, lumpiness, No time! There's never any time!
It’s been a rough week, Dear Readers. But I know just the thing to cheer me up: WHINING ABOUT IT IN MY BLOG! (Oh, TEH CAPS LOCK is so cathartic. I’m feeling better already!)
