VallyOFiled under: Jersey Suburb | Tags: jersey love, smoking is cool, vlogging is easier than blogging
At my cousin’s wedding–the ostensible reason for our trip–Cat managed to gather my cousins together to extract some blasphemous information (which may or may not have been facilitated by open bar Tanqueray-tonics. Just sayin.).
And who was notably excluded from this affair? Me. Why? Because it’s a SMOKE BREAK. So yeah, me and my pristine lungs are sitting alone at Table 7 eating our feelings, which are, yes–wedding cake. (Ever get the feeling you’ve picked the wrong poison?)
Filed under: Jersey Suburb | Tags: iPads are taking over the entire universe, jersey love, vlogging is easier than blogging
No stereotype will go un-validated as our North Jerz travels continue…
Filed under: Jersey Suburb | Tags: jersey love, vlogging is easier than blogging
All I have to say is… PROTEIN !!!
[Which reminds me--if you haven't viewed this little gem from the pre-"Jersey Shore" days, you should check it out. It has been a major source of inspiration for my work. And uh... lifestyle.]
Wow, this is already by far the most consistent blogging I’ve ever done. And by “blogging” I mean “vlogging”. And by “vlogging” I mean “posting videos of myself acting like a smug lesbian guido so that I don’t have to actually sit down and compose meaningful sentences.” God bless the internetz. And the jerz. (And anything else that is awesome enough to end with a “z”.)
Filed under: Other Whimsy | Tags: i'm awesome, is observational humor still funny, pies in the sky
And yes, I do bar mitzvahs. Email me.
(The intro got a little bit cut off, but it was something to the effect of, “I just got back from the gym, and boy are my arms tired!”)
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: (c)han(n)uk(k)a(h), it's gonna be a punk rock hxmas, pickled livers, regret, unicorns
Dear readers, xmas is upon us, and my gingerbread heart is heavy. And not just because we overdid it with the rainbow M&M roof decorations. No, it’s just that each year, as everyone scrambles at the last minute to buy the perfect thing for every single person on their list, I can’t help but feel a little empty inside.
If “A Charlie Brown Christmas” or the greeting cards my mom sends me are any indication, xmas is supposed to be about peace, love, and Jesus; instead, it’s about iPads. Although I’m sure there’s some sort of Bible app available. But that’s besides the point! Frenzied, mindless consumerism pervades every aspect of this modern life. It’s depressing, you guys.
Filed under: Required Reading | Tags: (c)han(n)uk(k)a(h), i have a lot of feelings, it's gonna be a punk rock hxmas, OM-GLEE, regret
OK, people (and by “people” I mean the three of you who googled “snooki hair bump” to find this blog), it’s xmastime, and that can mean only one thing: my gay little heart is bursting with a whole gingerbread house full of red and green (and the rest of Roy G. Biv) feelings. Let’s eat.
Filed under: Other Whimsy, Required Reading | Tags: CamBaloney, colin and i are friends on teh internetz, jersey love, party in the S-E-A, rainbows, surly lumps are not nice people, sweetness in seattle, the omf, unicorns, wix
S0 I was wandering through the streets of Capitol Hill one recent Saturday afternoon, trying to choose from one of the 18 coffee shops in my direct line of vision (a wannabe coffee snob: possibly the only thing worse than a real one), when a splash of bright pink in a store window caught my eye:
Fig. 1: Spotted.
